Do you judge people? We all do. Do you identify others by what they tell you about themselves, or what you think they are? Sometimes, the latter might apply to you. This sounds like everyone wears a name label, and the person you meet with would insert your identity on the label, no matter how you actually present yourself to be.
In a metropolis like Hong Kong where everyone is chasing after the dollar signs and fighting for a bigger place to live, competition to race to the top is keen. You might give someone a label, you might give someone funny names, you might judge others personality by a variety of factors that have nothing to do with their actual persona.
What you label others or you get labelled can vary by different reasons. From what I observe in Hong Kong, how people judge others depends heavily on one single factor.
It’s the place where you meet someone.
Meeting someone at a bar might make you think that, “she’s a slut” or “he’s a player” while meeting the same person at a more quiet venue or professional social events might render him/her more amiable and more trustworthy. The thing is, the “place” factor seem to produce a more extreme result on judging women than men, for example when you meet a woman at the following place you might think:
- Night club: “she’s a slut”
- Ivy graduates mixer: “she’s a gold digger”
- Beach: “she’s out-going and positive”
- Book store: “she’s a friendly nerd”
- Park in the neighborhood (while she’s walking her dog): “she’s cute”
- Coffee shop (during day time): “she’s a nice girl”
When it comes to judging men, people tend to label men by what they do than women when they meet them in the following places:
- Night club with entrance charge: “he’s a banker or lawyer”
- Night club without entrance charge: “maybe he’s a banker”
- Ivy graduates mixer: “he’s a husband material”
- Beach: “he’s hoooooooot”
- Book store: “he cannot be a banker”
- Park in the neighborhood (while he’s walking her dog): “he’s just … walking his dog”
- Coffee shop (during day time): “he’s a freelancer”
People seem to judge women by their personality and men by their occupation, from the place they meet that person.
Of course, the above observations are not rules-of-thumbs. However, people in Hong Kong judge women by how materialistic they are by the place they meet those women; and people judge men by their occupation and their wealth by using the same factor (place). The girl you meet at a bar is exactly the same person you would meet at a book store or a coffee shop, but meeting her at a bar makes you think that she’s more a pretty brainless little doll than if you meet the same intelligent and curious woman at a coffee shop reading The Economist. It might be because of the clothes the women wear too, but it’s the place that makes everyone dress for the occasion so it’s the place that matters.
On the other hand, people seem to judge men by their job and wealth (this is Hong Kong) by where they meet them. The most insane part is that people ,especially women, link men’s wealth and occupation to the degree of whether the guy is good for getting married with. It’s probably because the traditional Chinese culture always emphasize that one of the ultimate life goal for Chinese women is to be with the man they love, therefore women tend to think very early about their marriage. And women who are 25 and still see no potential men for marriage would get very nervous, and therefore the term “leftover women” emerged and some unattractive men over 35 who are still not married act like a snobby king and judge women even more.
Unfortunately women are put in a disadvantaged position when it comes to being labelled in social occasions. But well, there are more women than men in Hong Kong and the women are getting more educated and demands higher standards. But one thing is true, the real men sees the realness in women.